If you’re just now reading my blog for the first time, click on any of the interesting-looking categories to the left to read some of my past posts, or just go ahead and start from the beginning.  It’ll get you started, at least, so you’re not lost or confused!

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If you choose to be a disgusting, dirty pervert like me (just kidding – I’m actually awesome! :)), you might ask yourself, “Self, if I understand the reasons why I’m doing this (talked about here), I see a bit of the hierarchy of the hobby and what each tier brings me (reviewed here), and I even now know what to expect (chronicled here), HOW DO I CHOOSE?”

Well, Self, here is where I can help you.

The first thing you are going to want to know is what kind of experience you want.  Do you want to get your knob polished by a strung-out SW?  Do you want to get a massage, followed by various illicit activities?  Or, as most of us do, do you just want to have sex with a lady?

If you want to get a rub ‘n’ tug or see a hooker, your first thought might simply be to go to Backpage and search the Adult and Body Rubs sections for your preferred experience, scanning through the photos of all the women, checking the rates, and then selecting one and calling her up to schedule a rendezvous.

I would not advise doing this.

Or, rather, I would advise that you do this with the knowledge in the back of your head that you need to RESEARCH the lady (or establishment) you’d like to visit before selecting her (them).

I would advise that you either START, or TRANSITION your search for a hobby session of any kind with an escort review board.  I’ve talked a little bit about ERB’s in prior posts, so I hope not to spend a large amount of time talking about them, but truly, they are the most important hobby tool you can have.

If you want to do anything in the hobby, anything at all, you can find information about it on an ERB.  If there is no information about your interested party (SW, strip club, AMP, indie escort, agency, LMT, etc.) on the ERB in your area (it may take some time to find the most-used one), then that person/place is either new or so bad that frequent ERB posters don’t even bother to post about them.  Even so, there is always the option of throwing a post up in the proper forum and saying, “Does anyone have any information about xxxxx?”  Most guys will respond.  I’d venture to say no response within 24 hours is a pretty big indicator that you probably should pass until you’ve been around longer.

Most of the time, a simple search will bring up any number of threads with reviews and/or discussion of the object of your desire.  Read through them (keeping in mind that older reviews, while valuable for historical accuracy, MAY often be outdated on the particular person’s rates, photos, level of service, etc.) and you are guaranteed to have enough information to make a choice one way or another.

Now…let’s assume from here on out that you want to see an independent escort.

You might see an ad for a lady on BackPage.  You might see an ad for a lady on your ERB of choice.  Often, the best way to find viable escorts in your area, view their best pricing structure, see their most recent information, and view their most recent reviews (if any), is to go through a third party screening service.  Let me explain.

One of the most difficult parts of setting up a session is screening.  The lady has no idea who you are.  She has no idea who you’ve seen.  She has no information about you other than the information you provide her – that is a perk of being a hobbyist and the downside of being an escort.  Especially with the rise of ERBs and the internet, information regarding escorts is so easy to access that researching a particular woman should realistically only take a few minutes.

Prior to the internet (and it is still probably more common than not), when you initiated contact with an escort to schedule a session, she first asked for a list of a few of your most recent escorts visited.  She often would call them to verify who you were and that the sessions took place at the agreed upon time, and most likely they would dish a little bit about how you were, what you looked like, did you keep yourself clean, etc.  Tedious right?  Well, someone came up with the idea of starting a business geared towards making sure that both providers AND hobbyists were legitimate people, and bridging the gap between the time needed to “screen” that guy to see him.

Enter the screening service.  For a nominal fee of membership (I have a year-long membership currently), escorts and hobbyists get “verified” by this service, and then hobbyists can select escorts and request appointments with them.  The escorts can view limited information about the hobbyists, but they can at least see what level of experience they have, and thus determine whether or not to see them.

In order to join, at least for a hobbyist, you have to literally talk to an employee from the SS over the phone – they require that they be able to call your work or somehow verify your information – in order to verify who you are.  It’s a little scary, but supposedly once you pass this step, your information is then removed and destroyed from ever being used or known by them.

Once you are joined and in the door, the rest is easy.  You search for escorts, filtering down to the city you wish to see a girl in.  You can even do an advanced search where you can choose from tons of options (hair color, price range, cup size, and even choose the options you want to make sure that provider offers) and get a very specific list of potential dates based upon criteria of your choosing.

What you will see, once you look at each girl’s page, is a profile of them – their rate, their pictures, a biography (if they fill it out), their website, a list of the services they provide, their “survey info” (height, weight, likes, dislikes, etc.), and even links to some of their reviews from ERBs (I believe the girls update this themselves, so you should be careful when actually reading these reviews, and be sure to thoroughly research them on your own).

There are then several options, notably to send a request for a session.  You basically send a message to the provider, and she can then read your message, look at your information, check your okays (I’ll speak more to this in a minute), and decide whether to see you or not.  It’s important to make sure you check her preferred status level before bothering to request an appointment.  If she is “newbie friendly”, then she will see just about everyone, regardless of experience.  If she is “Basic +5″, she will only see men that have seen at least 5 other verified escorts.

Ok, so all of that is leading up TO the session with a particular provider.  But this is not the end of the post – because what you do, and what she does for you, after the session is just as important for FUTURE sessions’ screening!

Once a session is done, you should (I recommend within 24 hours, but I’m kind of OCD about dumping information out of my brain – hello blog :)) log into the SS and “request an okay” from the provider you just saw.

Provider okays (which are a stat you can view in your little profile page) are basically your references.  If a provider okays you, then every subsequent provider you try to schedule with knows that you are cool with at least one verified, legit escort.  The “okay” process is simple – you fill out an okay request form, where you basically fill in information about your session with the provider, send her the request, and then she logs into her account, reads your request, and confirms that you were an okay customer.

So, essentially, the more okays you have, the safer a choice you look like to an escort you’d like to see.  Obviously, there are some escorts that do not want clients that have been with a lot of escorts, because it’s usually a sign that they are not often “repeat” potential, meaning that the lady may not be guaranteed to, even if the session is amazing, hook you as a “regular” that she can count on seeing her often (which is, from all my conversations with escorts, where they make the majority of their money and focus most of their time).

And, as an additional thought, you should also be an active contributor and write a review on your ERB.  Even if you feel like you’re beating a dead horse (a lot of guys complain that they don’t write reviews because they are saying the same things over and over again), updated confirmation of a collective opinion only enhances the research of future hobbyists who might want to see that girl.  Just like you were thankful that the guy(s) before you posted reviews, your reviews will not be for nothing to future guys who may read your review and decide one way or another how to proceed.

That, in a nut shell, is how and why you screen (and get screened) in the hobby.  It ensures, with a safe degree of certainty, that both of you are legit and established, and will have at least a decent time.  I can tell you two horror stories of sessions that BOTH went wrong because I did not properly screen them – but that, my friends is a conversation for a future post!

As always, I enjoy giving you guys and gals a little insight into a world that most of you would otherwise probably be completely unaware of.  If you are interested, contact me!  Leave me a comment on here, or tweet me (http://twitter.com/theescortlover).  I love hearing feedback from all of you, and I will always incorporate your thoughts, opinions, and questions into my future posts.

On one last side note – I was put in touch with a new friend who actually blogs about her life from the other perspective from me – from the viewpoint of an actual escort!  I haven’t gotten her permission to talk about her or plug her stuff, but if and when I do, you’ll be the first ones to hear all about it :)

Comments
  1. Shanu says:

    Yeah, it’s so easy to get burned and their is so much choice out there – ALWAYS research before going to see a girl…

    • I could not agree more. I would say 90% of the things that scare people about the hobby can be prevented if people were just a little safer, both picking AND choosing.

    • dan says:

      aren’t we sick trash. an article written about how we can get a dirty prostitute to call us and take our money. we need a psychiatrist not a toilet a thousand other deviants have pissed in.

  2. [...] Fuck yes, Destiny was the woman that changed my entire hobbying perspective.  Before her, my only experiences in the hobby had been my first experience at the AMP, as well as my first indie girl, Katelynn.  Katelynn and Destiny differed in that Katelynn was found strictly through BackPage (I didn’t even KNOW about Preferred411, which is my escort screening site of choice), whereas Destiny was the first gem I plucked after learning to grab a subscription on P411. [...]

  3. Anne Marie says:

    So how does a girl meet her first guy? My situation is that I work in an expensive manhattan strip club. Every night guys come in and spend thousands of dollars on me and get nothing in return. The club keeps more than half my money. Everyone but the club owner is leaving unhappy and frustrated. I would rather have these guys give me half what they spend in there, keep all of it, and give them what they want so everyone is happy and satisfied. This seemed like a brilliant and simple idea when I left work last night, but reading your post I don’t think anyone would be willing to give me a try. How does someone like me get her first new companion and first review?

    • Honestly, I don’t live in NY, so my advice will have to be generic/theoretical. Most times, if you are willing to hint to a guy that he could save half his money by meeting you outside the club (you’ll either have to get his number or give him yours), he’ll go for it.

      To start, I’d offer that to any regular SC mongers you see. Familiar faces are always more trustworthy than unfamiliar faces.

      If that doesn’t work, I’d look into joining the ERB that’s popular in your area. If you’re not sure, go to the Backpage Escorts section and see if any of the ads say “xxxxxx verified”, such as “P411 verified” or “ECCIE verified”. That’ll give you a hint.

      Worst case scenario, put an ad up on Backpage and then move off it as soon as you can.

      Hope that helps – follow me on twitter (@theescortlover) if you want to talk more, ok?

    • Alexis says:

      Hi Anne Marie,

      I am a well established escort and would gladly give you some advice about how to start if you like. Are we allowed to leave contact info in these posts? I’m not sure, but hopefully this won’t get deleted! My email is alexis@meetalexismorgan.com. Feel free to get in touch.

      Alexis Morgan

  4. Justin says:

    Any advice for first timers. Had a bad run of luck with girls that screen.

    • Justin says:

      Oh, I should note that I work in a cleared job. So my company actually refuses to verify any sort of employment with the exception of ex-employees. It’s really put me in a bind.

  5. [...] one I prefer most is using an escort review board, which I mentioned in my screening blog post.  An escort review board is a forum system designed to allow men to post their reviews of escorts [...]

  6. NewB says:

    How can I get screened if I’m first-timers and a freelancer – meaning I don’t have an “employer” that can verify who I am? (To put it another way I am self-employed. How does that work??)

  7. I’m thinking about getting into the Hobby, and I was just wondering what’s the best site to use to get screened? Or should I use more than one?

  8. Vivian Vanderbuilt says:

    Well written love! I Could not have explained the screening process better.

  9. Joseph says:

    Hey great blog by the way. My first post. I am new to hobby and I have been searching all over on what type and kind of info to provide to escorts for their screening process. I think that we need to give our name and address…? Can you update this section to include the basics on how to and what to give? This will really help the newbie clients and providers on what to ask for or give. I know that there are paying sites (P411) that will make screening faster but I don’t want to pay for them because I don’t know how long I would hobby. Thanks a bunch John.

  10. Kevin says:

    Hey John, this has helped me so much! So much great information! One question though…when signing up for a screening service, what if you’re unemployed and have to employer contact info to give? Can you still sign up? And second, I signed up at TER.com but they don’t have my city…any other review boards you can suggest?

  11. Fuck u says:

    I hope you burn in hell. Slavery supporter. Do some basic research on human trafficking. Get your life together and be a REAL man.

  12. Alyssa says:

    Speaking of screening… I’m looking into becoming a “companion” with an LA based agency, they want me to come down for a couple days to meet me in person, and have a trainer work with me, evaluate me in bed, teach me the rules, and the do’s & don’ts.

    And If there are things that I need to work on sexually including where my strengths and weaknesses are to better fit me with certain clients.
    They also offer fetish training once you get started if you are interested, so you are more marketable.

    Is this normal, does this sound legit? I tried googling this and couldn’t find much…

    • kay says:

      Hey I’m located in the bay area and I’m looking into escorting I’m totally new and looking to work with an agency. I have reponded to post ads on back page but no respondes I’m ebony young and cute but I don’t know I can’t find an agency any advise? Thanks!

    • Erica Healy says:

      Noooo run dont walk. Ask to speak with our escorts. Look into wether his agency has had any challenges with the law. If they are on the cops radar big bulleted on your back. Ask how he handles court costs etc. Get a male friend to book a appt. Do they screen him thoroughly. Look its ur ass if they dont protect u. And he needs to evaluate u in bed???? Are you kidding me. Look ill tell you right now. Dont get into this business. For you to even think its normal practice means you know less than zero. So stop shut it all down. And start researching. I hired one. Not for a ” date” but to learn. I had questions ready and she knew coming to me what I needed. By the way you talk about money for sex anywhere. Cardinal rule.Escorts are companions they are paid for their time what happens between 2 adults is their business. So research and for the love of god!!! DO NOT MEET SOME DOUSHE BAG AT A HOTEL FOR HIM TO TEST DRIVE U. Be a little investigator. I live in missouri. We have a site called missouri case.net. start digging on a ageny prior to signing. Meet face to face. I wasnt sure about a guy had all the right paperwork…ie business cards that he was from nyc…agency sent him. One is area code was 317…umm not nyc area code. I stayed behind at the bar top after he departed from our visit. I grabbed his half empty glass dumped it into a near by plant wrapped it in a napkin and asked a cop friend. You have them and asked to run his prints. You can say your thinking of dating him but he might has drugged you…etc…get creative…get real or your going two places the morgue or jail. Wake up sister

      • Erica Healy says:

        Meant dont ever talk about money in exchange for anything other than your time. Sorry if I was mean. But these stories keep me up at night worrying. Be safe sister

  13. kay says:

    Hey I’m located in the bay and I’m looking into escorting I’m totally new and looking to work with an agency. I have reponded to post ads on back page but no respondes I’m ebony young and cute but I don’t know I can’t find an agency any advise? Thanks!

  14. Erica Healy says:

    Im going into this scary amazing world this week. Ive got a marketing director but he also supplies a place and phone a driver. 50/50 split but I do the screening. Like I said im new. I have some many questions. His agency is new he’s great a designing websites and currently has 3 girls 2 more are on this radar. His wife is in the business and handles affairs. Is this a good gig.

  15. Lucky says:

    Hello,i am also new to the Escort service.Is it okay to ask for full names of the client and phone number as screening? And i am not sure of what fee to charge
    my email is learamoding@yahoo.com
    please help.

  16. Great blog of  Escort in New York. Super interesting

  17. […] off, if you are new to the hobby, one blog I suggest you read would be The Escort Lover.  He is very realistic in his experiences as a hobbyist. He talks on screening extensively.  For […]

  18. Lane says:

    so you must meet with someone from p411 before you can receive an okay?

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